You know the kind of guy who does nothing but bad things and then wonders why his life sucks? Well, that was me. Every time something good happened to me, something bad was always waiting round the corner: karma. That's when I realized that I had to change, so I made a list of everything bad I've ever done and one by one I'm gonna make up for all my mistakes. I'm just trying to be a better person. My name is Earl

1. Stole 10 dollars from the guy at camden market

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4. Cost dad the election

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18. Told an inappropriate joke at Hank Lange's birthday party

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23. Peed on the back of a cop car

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26. Robbed a stoner blind

27. Made fun of people with accents

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29. Harassed a journalist

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33. I've been a lazy lover

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37. Stole a laptop

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40. Racked the kids playhouse

41. Snatched a kid's Halloween candy when he came to my trailer to trick or treat

42. Cut holes in all of dad's shirts to show his nipples

43. Racked a rich guy

44. Picked on a french kid

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47. Stole and blew up a guys RV

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49. I've been waistefull

50. Kicked the lead singer out of my band

51. Slept with Ralp's mom

52. Dig up and returned the stolen treasure

53. Put used gum on almost every table i've ever sat on

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56. Laveery of a kittycat / Stole liquor from x

57. Gave Randy a swirley when he was 5 / Told Joy Dan Dodd messed himself on the x

58. Fixed a high school football game 

59. Everything I did to dad

60. Pulled fire alarm

61. Stole Mom's car (but I gave it back)

62. Stole gas from a car / Threw Carol's alarm clock out /Faked death to break up with a girl

63. Wasted electrcity

64. Picked on Kenny James /Spray painted the bridge

65. Vandalized the / Cost dad the election

66. Let mice out at school play

67. Framed Stinky / Stole beer from a golfer

68. Blew up mailboxes

69. Cheated on school test

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73. Always took a penny, never left a penny

74. Always ruined Joy's christmas

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82. Borrowed silverware from Crabshack

83. Blew up mailboxes

84. Faked death to brake up with a girl

85. Took clothes from

86. Stole a car from one legged girl

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89. Broke into

90. Missed

91. Made fun of Maggie Lester

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98. Told Dodge and Earl jr, that we would have a father-son day

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101. Stole a girls identity

102. Harmed and propaply killed people with second hand smoking

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108. Lost dad's mustang

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112. Let Donny Jones serve jailtime of a crime i commited

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116. Roll Don Benster down a hill in a portapotty

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119. Ruined Joy's change to get in to art school

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126. Stole a badge from a police-officer / Stole from the Henssen kids

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136. I've been a litterbug

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139. Stole beer from a golfer

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146. Stole gay Kenny's lunch everyday on the 5th grade

147. Shot Guinn Rogers in the ass with a BB

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153. Broke Joy's fancy figurine

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157. Aimed and set off bottle rockets at Randy when he was on a date

158. Made Randy steal electronics with me and he got caught

159. Stole PC's D-cart

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164. Burned out a barn in the right choice ranch

165. Made a wish and threw a penny into Electrolarynx Guy's hole

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182. Played Tatterball with Randys face

183. Never took Joy's side

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188. Slept with married Linda

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202. Stole a wallet from a guy on a gas-station

203. Stole various drinks and snacks from a quickstop

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205. Ruined club chubby's Mistletoe

206. Refuse to dance with too-tall-Madge at the 8th grade

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219. Stole a bookmobile

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239. Made a kid scared of the boogeyman

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241. Made Derek Jones late for work

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260. Negelegdet Randy

261. Ruined Joy's wedding

262. Slept with Crabman's fiance

263. Broke busstop while looking at pancho the blue fish

264. Punched schoolboy in the stomach

265. Owe money to the goverment

266. Never gave mom a good mothersday

267. Got Catalina kicked out of America

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270. Kept a guy locked in a truck

271. Made fun of pregnant Joy

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273. Kept myself from being an adult

         a) Finish high school

         b) Get a real job

         c) Move out of the hotel

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